reunion???

soo-o happy when we meet our school mates again.... =)
it was an unplanned+on the spot function when around 2o of them decided to continue our discussion+talking+gossiping
in my house...
it was my pleasure to have them all knowing my house although its not that gud....
(ooo-hoo the girls did discover all over my ouse even to the kitchen)
(kinda shamefull)

we first met at onyen's ouse after a very3 long tyme not seeing each other and we'r not supposed to make noise and act childishly at the wedding, aren't we??
hmmm but, the excitement of ourselves are beyond anything....
and thats bring them all back to my ouse...
(ooo hoo its not onyen's wedding but his sister)


at first,
we thought that it'll be the girls' evening
and
fortunately,
the guys also wanted to join us... n it was gud...
heep heep hooray... =)
i was sooo glad to have them all eating fried banana+colek keropok...
ermmmm some of the girls called that hi-tea......ahaks
-yuuu huuuu-

but...
when we all realized it was nearly 7,
all of them decided to say gudbye to my ouse n also to me.....
waaaaa =(
it was very sad when seeing all of them started their car engines and leaving to their ouse.....
but, its oke...
we all did agree to gather again some other day...

place: dont noe yet??
date: dont noe yet??
time: dont noe yet??

--ouhhhooo--
(qim n eppoo please take action bout this)


owh...
not to forget....
one day before yesterday....
we did really enjoy our evening at pcb... ahaaa
but its only 8 of us
we used to call it
girls' evening... =)

*pcians*

*gossiping tyme*


time to go...

daaaa...

p/s: sorry for not make you guys comfortable at my ouse.... feel free to come at anytime, just give me a call yeah.....make urselves at home!!

>>> sorry 4 not uploading many pics...huhu

*its not worth waiting*

some people say that we cannot tooo gay of having a lot of joy as the happiness will soon change into the sadness....
and i think i have to agree with that...
i was really happy yesterday like flying up in the sky...
(met the old frens of mine and we did have all the gossiping)
but at this time
i am really upset like laying down to earth...

*wooosh3*
please go away sadness from my heart...
i hate you...really hate...yes definite hate...




i know......
when it not starts with something good, so the result at the end also will be bad...
like me....
when i first logged in my matrix number and password on esmp..
and when the screen displayed that i typed the wrong matrix number or password...
i already knew...it must be sumthing!!!!
whether my sem 1 exam result is tooo good
or tooo bad....
and today, i get it.....
as expected...
huhuhuuhuu

but its okay...
i deserved what i got...
and i am grateful for my exam result....
huhuuu

p/s: need to go out n have some mind relaxing.......
>>>>note to etty n ama: please cheer me up this evening------

enough is enough

well,
after everything seems to be okay with me n him....
suddenly, there's something going to happen again......
i noe...

OMG....
i dont noe how 2 express my feelings rite now...
(i want but i dont want...)

hurmmm
its difficult....
but i do believe everything is His fate
and
if we'r meant to be together, we'll be together sooner or later...
but,
the problems occurred when we cannot see our future...
we can all just plan something and He is going to decide what is going to happen and what is not.....
so, all we need to do is just pray to Him..
He will listen to our sincere heart...


Sooo..
its enough about it....
i don't want to let my heart control my mind....
so MIEMI please!!!!
let bygone be bygone...
just forget about the past..
its all history...
do focus for ur study...
its more important than thinking to other things rite now...
please don't waste ur time on these kind of stuffs....
-i think i can handle it-

~~~~~~~~~

waaaa

why..why...why...why...why...
its very5 hard to understand a guy....
i thought i already know him better but, actually I'm failed...
how i'm going to face this...
he keeps on denying
n
someone keeps on telling me...
hurmmm
at one point, i thought i noe him better and i should listen to him n trust him...
at one point, i think that the other side is right...
if not, why on earth is that human being telling me all these things??
that's really no point of that creature making up those things...

.......life........
sometimes we are up in the sky...
sometimes we are down to earth...
so many sometimes can make our life colourful...
so many colourful can make our head dizzy...
thinking all the things that we shouldn't...
thinking all the things that we have to...

-waaaa-
i need someone to be by my side...
i need someone to listen to me...
but...
i cant tell this to mummy.. or k.lynn or deq nur...
or anyone else...
if not...
it will ruin everything...
so, better for me to keep this as my secret ever...
owh, my goodness...
i really3 hope that this precious thing gone as soon as possible..
with the right decision i'll make...
with the right way i'll choose..
with the right thing i'll think...

i should get what i should get

life is soo meaningful....
dont noe where to start...but b4 i close my eyes....
i'm 4 sure dat my heart is not in da safe mode.....
whether to trust or not...i dont noe...
all i noe is, i am very8 upset with him........
i dont noe whether the info i got can help me or not....
but...
why, all of a sudden someone comes to me and tells everything bad about him....
i dont noe...i dont noe...n i dont noe........
all the stories told were hit by me.....i was puzzled.....
and again, dont noe what 2 do...
dont noe how 2 take action....
well,
decision-making in life is sooo vry hard 2 do,
especially when it is deal with our mind, heart n soul.....
n of course all of this will bring something in our future and will leave footprints in our hearts... not for a temporary, but maybe permanent......

i realize something....
the closer we are, the more things 2 be argued...
am i 2 perfectionist or picky or fussy?
everything seems difficult 2 be handled...
i bet no one in this world can be 100% trusted, but yet we can trust up to 99% depends on the individuals that we knew..
why all of these come to me?
to tell me that i'm wrong?
or
to tell me that i'm good enough?
all are questions marks......

am i did the wrong things for accepting him in my life?
for giving him 2 stay in my heart?
for giving him the permission to noe me well?
i dont noe.......

sometimes i think that enough is enough...
but sometimes i think that its only hurdles for us in moving on with our lives...
well...
easy 2 say.....
just follow the flow....
but how can i go on with the flow if my heart is in critical room?
i should noe what 2 do so that i can cure my heart back...
but i cant.....
i'll try my best 2 choose the right path in my life...
owh,
please make me strong in handling this
n
i hope i can trust the right people....
i have been lied soo many people, lovers, friends.....
n i'm kinda tired of trusting......

i'm feel sorry to myself...
mybe this is one of the thorn in going through the path that i've chosen...
i'm not asking for sympathy to anyone.......
but i'm writing to feel relieve on my own........

....sorry 4 da harsh words i've thrown....

F.A.M.I.L.Y

Family..family..family...
Sometimes we do quarrel with our family members......
ooops, correction, its not sometimes but, soooo many times...
but, in Malay old folks says that "carik2 bulu ayam lama2 becantum jua"...
yes.......... that's very true....
i don't how to say, but its kinda unique because in a family,
we do not have the same behaviour with the rest of our family members although we were born with a same mom, n we have the same parents,
but still we have the differences among us, even if we're twins....
we ourselves face the difficulties in understanding our own family members... especially our parents.....




*love u all*

well,
when our parents are getting older n older,
they are really3 sensitive in all kinds of thing....
especially when the matter involves their children...
(parents n children always have different kind of thinking because of different kind of generations)
So, as their children, we should not broke their heart whatever it is......
we should understand they are fragile at this time and what we should do is just make them happy and sweep away all their worries....
. when we were young, they took a very good care of us,
like in Malay old folks says "bagai menatang minyak yang penuh"....
They don't even give a mosquito to have a bite of our blood.....
so, we should take care of them like that toooo and even more than what they did to us in the past....
even how good we are to them, we cannot pay back what they had done to us....

for those who still have their parents,
please put a respect and responsibility towards them...
go to them and apologize to them when they are still alive......
please don't be too late because you'll regret for the rest of your life and that time we cannot do anything but crying all the time.............



*love u, mummy*
*love u, papa*

p/s: i'm writing this not to tell u that i'm a good child of my parents, but to motivate me myself as well as all of you who have the time to read this...........

ALWAYS REMEMBER, FAMILY MUST COME FIRST WHATEVER IT IS.....................................

L.O.V.E

love..love..love..

Actually what does it means???

love is very3 subjective as it plays with our hearts n feelings...

love cannot be touched n cannot be seen..

that is why,

some says that love is blind...

And i think that is true...

Actually what are we loking for??

Is that love important in our lives and does it is part of our lives???

The answer is yes....

We should have that kind of feelings towards our family, friends and not to forget to ourself!!

But, the point is here......

Are we need somebody or someone in different gender to be loved to???

Ermmmm

when we are talking about love,

i mean love with special boyfriends or special girlfriends it sometimes do hurt our feelings soo very much...

but then,

when we are happy,

we feel like the whole world is ours....

We dont care about others as we just do whatever we want to do as long as he/she with us all the tyme.....

But, if love hurts,

why should we get involve in this matter??

When we quarrel to each other, more or less it will affect our feelings n emotions....

Thus, it will make our routines ruin sometimes up to 70%, 80%...

That is what always wondering me...

People are always worried if in their earliest 20, they do not even have a special boyfriend or girlfriend yet.....

In this case, i think we shouldn't worry about that, just set it free....

the true love will come to your heart normally and peacefully...

For those who doesn't have a special boyfriend/girlfriend yet,

please dont be rushing in choosing your soulmates as we are not going to marry them tomorrow...

Well, it is really hard to find the suitable person for us...

We have to look all the charecterictics in theirs including their family background, education background, the behaviours of themselves and so on and so forth...

So, before you guys declaring each other as a boyfriend and a girlfriend,

please make sure that you are ready to accept him/her in the way they are...

Once you start your new lives and new hopes with him/her,

it is impossible for you to ruin everything just like that...

because this kind of relationships do involve a lot of people arounds you

(if you are serious though, i'm not talking about puppy love anymore)

L.O.V.E

It really affects our emotions as we can see some of the people outside who can just easily commit suicide when they think that nobody will love them anymore....

hurrmmmm

thats what we call emotions control our mind, not our mind control the emotions....

So, for those people who are in loved with someone special, you must know your roots

and

my advice here is not to give your 100% again and again to your loved ones even if you think that he/she are really yor destiny and they do love you very3 much....

if not,

when something happens in the future,

which we dont know what would it be,

you'll be suffered very much.....

For those who are already in love with someone special....

please take good care of your relationships...

as the world now decreasing the number of good males -for girls

So, that's it.....

be careful with what are you choosing n doing..

p/s: hope you'll get what you want and you won't regret with what you have done.....

hurmmmm.....

Well, it has been a very long tyme i'm not writing here... it seems like i already died...
but, its not.. i'm still alive, i just had a very very very hectic life........
n for that long tyme not updating this wonderful blog, i had been through sooo many things including happiness and sadness...

But, trust me, everything that happens in my life for pass 2, 3 months make me more tougher, stronger and independent than i am....

Actually there's a lot of things to be shared with...
It's about my family, my diploma graduation, him and also about my friends...

Ermmm talking about friends, it's really3 make me think deeply from the bottom of my heart...
Well, not to say that i'm not beleive in friendship,
but it is....huhuhu
Even i'm such a very hard person but i think i'm being a very good friends to all of my friends...
i just share and give what i have to them, especially those who are close with me...
but then, sumthing has turned up....
i feel like i'm just a tool for them as they can take advantage of me
(even i dont have anything to take advantage on)
Yeah, nobody will understand my situation, nobody will understand me even if i'm telling from A to Z...
But its ok, i dont want to make people sympathy for me, i just want to express my feelings as though i dont want to become a crazy girl if i just keep inside on my own...

F.R.I.E.N.D.S
yes, it is true that we have to be friends with people, but the advice here, you dont have to give 100% for your friends even if they are your besties....
i had the experienced being fool of that kind of friends and it made me really3 sick of it...
i have friends who are HYPOCRITE, LIAR, SELLFISH...
but i dont know whether these types of friends of mine could be suitable to be called friends or not...
by right i dont think they are friends of mine anymore...

So, to everyone outside there, i just wanna tell you that just be careful in choosing your friends, be careful being friends with others because we dont know in the future what will happens... maybe this time they are really good to us but in the future when they can easily live without you, they can just leave you alone just like that...
they cant even think of the simple things that you had been through together and the things that you did for them...
all your sacrifice before this will gone just like that without a word of appreciatiation...
and that time, you'll realize that you are a victim of your cruel friend....

So, Beware!!!