i should get what i should get

life is soo meaningful....
dont noe where to start...but b4 i close my eyes....
i'm 4 sure dat my heart is not in da safe mode.....
whether to trust or not...i dont noe...
all i noe is, i am very8 upset with him........
i dont noe whether the info i got can help me or not....
but...
why, all of a sudden someone comes to me and tells everything bad about him....
i dont noe...i dont noe...n i dont noe........
all the stories told were hit by me.....i was puzzled.....
and again, dont noe what 2 do...
dont noe how 2 take action....
well,
decision-making in life is sooo vry hard 2 do,
especially when it is deal with our mind, heart n soul.....
n of course all of this will bring something in our future and will leave footprints in our hearts... not for a temporary, but maybe permanent......

i realize something....
the closer we are, the more things 2 be argued...
am i 2 perfectionist or picky or fussy?
everything seems difficult 2 be handled...
i bet no one in this world can be 100% trusted, but yet we can trust up to 99% depends on the individuals that we knew..
why all of these come to me?
to tell me that i'm wrong?
or
to tell me that i'm good enough?
all are questions marks......

am i did the wrong things for accepting him in my life?
for giving him 2 stay in my heart?
for giving him the permission to noe me well?
i dont noe.......

sometimes i think that enough is enough...
but sometimes i think that its only hurdles for us in moving on with our lives...
well...
easy 2 say.....
just follow the flow....
but how can i go on with the flow if my heart is in critical room?
i should noe what 2 do so that i can cure my heart back...
but i cant.....
i'll try my best 2 choose the right path in my life...
owh,
please make me strong in handling this
n
i hope i can trust the right people....
i have been lied soo many people, lovers, friends.....
n i'm kinda tired of trusting......

i'm feel sorry to myself...
mybe this is one of the thorn in going through the path that i've chosen...
i'm not asking for sympathy to anyone.......
but i'm writing to feel relieve on my own........

....sorry 4 da harsh words i've thrown....